


Starting Over

by Esmee



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Character Death, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, Love Triangles, M/M, Memory Loss, Physiology, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esmee/pseuds/Esmee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day when Lieutenant Commander Shepard left to save the entire Galaxy, Kaidan Alenko started to lose his mind in grief. While back on Earth Shepard lost everything. FemShep/Kaidan.  AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starting Over

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, here is my outtake at the end of the old ending of Mass Effect. This is AU. Beside the first part of this the story wouldn't follow much on any of Mass Effect quests and such. This story focusing on grief, this story is above mental. On how much a person can take. This Shepard unlike the games showed that she is human. Please give it a try and give back to me k  this story will be long if I’m devoted and have good support from everyone :)   
> The Genre is still Romance/Drama. Side genres are Hurt/Comfort/Family and Friendship.  
> I do not and will not own the Mass Effect series.  
> I just own this plot.   
> Please read and review 

Lieutenant Commander Victoria Shepard had always known in the small place behind her head that she wouldn’t be able to make it out alive. The Galaxy above her was fighting a war, a war that without her help everyone would die. The Catalyst beside her waiting, for her choice. He waited for her for the new solution.  Shepard felt the huge weigh on her shoulders and she almost collapsed to the ground from it.

She was weak. She knew it. Any little bump could kill her, but she didn’t care. She needed to get this done. 

_Be Brave little one_

Shepard heard her mother whispered in her ear softly, all of this will end soon. Her pain will end.  All Shepard wanted to do was to go back in time and hugged her mother crying, but even if she did survive she could never felt her mother embraced. Her entire family died the day when she was 16 by slavers.

Her hands shook violently, and she found herself crying.  Over all she had been through this was how it ends. Her mentor and father were dead. Shepard would never forget his bravery. She recounted Legion’s sacrificed for the Geth. That if she destroyed all the Reapers the Geth and all machines would be dying.

Shepard’s head was throbbing along with her entire body. Joker wouldn’t forgive her for EDI death. She stumbled left, knowing her time was very limited. She felt her own life slipping away with each step of her feet. Her heart beat slowed.  Her head clouded once more before it rested on Kaidan.  A loud sobbed escaped her. She must be strong. This was her last stand. This was everyone’s last stand. She stumbled once more almost tripping.

She remembered the warm feel of his lips on hers, promising her a future together. A promise she was looking forward too. Her heart wrenched remembering she will be breaking his heart once more. His fear coming to life within a minute.

“I-I’m sorry.” Shepard whispered reaching the end of her mission. The Illusion Man had tried to control The Reapers and failed. How was she any different?  Shepard grabbed the two glasses with pain. The light flashed within her head and she struggled to not let go. She felt it burning through her skin eating everything away.

Shepard closed her eyes.

_Kaidan_

* * *

Kaidan Alenko couldn’t believe his eyes, when he watched The Reaper strike down the love of his life in front of him.  He struggled against Garrus’s grip in the shuttle.

“LET ME GO!” He raged, no he didn’t want the death take her away from him again. His eyes watered when he noticed his attempts were failing. The Turian was stronger than he. How could he let her done this alone?

Shepard’s hand twitched in the ashes before her form weakly, stood up with a stumble.

“SHEPARD!”

“Stop it, Alenko! Get a grip!” Garrus snapped, swung him onto the other end of the shuttle before the door closed, blocking his view of her.  This was the first time he had ever felt like this since Brain Camp, since that day when Shepard died the first time around. She had been torn from him once more.

He couldn’t live without her.

The mass relays had been destroyed.

Kaidan’s heart felt empty.

He felt very numb when he fell limp to the floor.

She’s gone.

She died.

He wouldn’t be able to see her smile again.

No one talked to him whenever he passed by, the crew were all whispers, feeling pity for him. He didn’t care. The night when Shepard died he had died also.

A few days ago, they had landed on an uncharted planet that looked very much like Earth. While escaping the blast, Joker flew through the Mass Relay.

The ship was in a complete mess.

The supplies should last everyone for a couple of months if they all eat one small meal a day.  Once again, thanks to Shepard. Everyone was experiencing grief. Maybe she was still alive. Maybe she wasn’t dead. Joker managed a small depressing hi, before working back to the controls.  It will take about a few weeks to fix all the damages and luck will help them to start the ship again.

When Kaidan stumbled toward Shepard’s room, he rested his head over her door before he began to cry once more. He should have pushed Garrus out of the way.

His heart wrenched. Why had he placed The Alliance first instead of her in the past?

He felt something touched his shoulder softly like air.

Kaidan felt something pressed onto his neck like a small warm kiss.

“Please don’t cry.” It whispered sadly, and Kaidan eyes widened. Now he’s going crazy. Was that Shepard he heard? Was that Shepard he felt? His heart sped up rapidly.

“Victoria?”

* * *

 Shepard gasped out loud in pain when she finally came to. Her body was crushed within the rumble of decay. She couldn’t feel her body. Something was wrong.

What happened?

What’s wrong?

She tried to scream, but her voice wouldn’t leave her lips. She was afraid. What happened? Her brain searched for an answer desperately but she found none.

“Found her!” She heard faint sounds of footsteps and a female voice screamed overhead.

_HELP ME!_

Shepard panicked.

The piece of concrete was thrown off of her, but she still couldn’t feel anything something was missing.

“Oh my god, Shepard.” The same voice whispered in sadness.What’s wrong? Her heart raced and it hurts her so much.

“Move out of the way, princess.” Another female snarled.

“You look like shit Shepard.”

Shepard?

Who was this Shepard?

She couldn’t remember.

Why couldn’t she remember?

Why couldn’t she move?

What happened to her?

“She’s going into shock,” The first female panicked.

“Shit.” The second one, cursed.

“Stay with me Shepard.” 


End file.
